FAQ

Q ”How can you tell if someone I know has an eating disorder?”

A” Here is a short list of behaviours and beliefs that may mean an individual is susceptible to developing an eating disorder, with serious physical and emotional consequences.

  • Preoccupation with food, eating habits, weight.
  • Belief that thinness equals happiness.
  • Perception of being overweight despite others' appraisal of low or normal weight and even in the face of verifiable weight loss.
  • Experience that eating or weighing on a scale can determine one's emotional state, leading to the use of food to control emotions.
  • Frequent use of a harmful or ineffective method of weight control - diet pills, fad diets, laxatives, diuretics, starvation, or vomiting.
 As well as the illness identified, eating disorders can often be non-specific when they include symptoms from a number or different illnesses. Disordered eating can take many different forms. Do not dismiss a problem just because someone does not fit within a particular ‘label’.”
 
Q “My son is suffering from an eating disorder & feels very alone with this because he is a boy. He is worried that if he does attend one of the meetings he will be the only male there. How can I persuade him to make the first move?” 
 
A “You can arrange for your son to come and talk to Marc who works for us. Marc started by coming to the sessions and then became a volunteer. He now works for First Steps and is doing well in his recovery.  He will be able to reassure your son that eating disorders are not just female problems and that 10-25% of all sufferers are male. It is important for your son to notice that he is not alone in terms of his eating disorder. The group is both very welcoming and takes place in an environment which is very relaxed. No pressure would be placed upon your son to talk or make any contributions to the group discussions. You should also mention to your son that males do attend the groups and they find that the groups have not only helped in battling against their eating disorders but also improved their social skills and self-confidence."
 
Q” If someone I know has an eating disorder how can I help?”
A “Support them and be there to listen, eating disorders are a very personal thing and it may take people a long time to admit they have a problem or trust someone enough to tell them.
Try not to lecture them, don’t use statements such as “if only you would eat” because it’s not as simple as that and this may cause a person to stop talking to you about the problem.
Try not to make comments on weight, if someone if getting better avoid saying things such as “you look well” as this often translates into “you look fat” for someone with an eating disorder.
Don’t blame yourself. It’s a disease, its no-one’s fault; blaming people will not help the situation.
Be a positive role model; try not to talk about losing weight and dieting as this may make the problem worse.
Seek help, eating disorders are difficult to fight alone, as a parent, carer or friend you may also fell you need support and the groups on a Thursday are open to you as well.”
Q “Are eating disorders hereditary?”
A”Recent research proves genetic factors accounttowards the risk of developing an eating disorder. Further research is still being carried out to explore and understand the connections. This is not to say that everyone who has an incidence of eating disorders in their family will develop an eating disorder, but simply that there is a need for further exploration between genetics and eating disorders.
 
Q ” What treatment is available?”
 
A ”There are different forms of treatment available. It is important to note that no one approach is suitable for everyone.  Your GP should be able to give advice on what is appropriate and First Steps and BEAT can offer information on the sources of treatment available. Professional care provided by Drs and other specialists may include counselling and self-help, or a course of treatment in an outpatient treatments.  Recovery often involves a combination of treatments. Some people may need inpatient treatment. If the physical and psychological situation is desperate, carers may have no choice to act against the sufferers wishes and arrange for hospitalisation through their GP.”
 
Q “How can I prevent my child from developing an eating disorder?”
A"Try and model healthy behaviour around food, body image and coping with stress. Being aware of your own prejudices will help you avoid bringing them into the situation. Try and avoid talk of diets and weight loss. Please don’t talk about weight, remove any scales, don’t go on diets and remove diet books from the home. Avoid making links between self worth and body shape or size or making jokes about people’s size. Praise your children for their positive qualities, and focus on their personalities rather than their appearance.  When you are stressed, avoid turning to alcohol, other drugs, anger or other destructive habits. Teach your children, or your partner how to solve problems and meet needs by making, and following, logical action plans.
 
Q “What if I need time off work because of my child’s illness?”
 
A” If you are in paid employment you are likely to experience difficulties over requests for time off and increased absence from work. Take the initiative by asking to speak to your employer as soon as you know your child is unwell. At least you will have tested the reaction and you may find your honesty is appreciated. You could offer our number, information leaflets or our website address if your employer wants to know more about eating disorders. You could also ask for this to remain confidential if that is what you prefer. If you do need time off work because of the eating disorder, check your contract of employment to be sure of your rights.
 
Q “What shouldn’t I say?”
 
A ”
  • Why? (Eating disorders are complex mental illnesses with multiple factors, and the last thing you want to do is put him/her on the spot, after a vulnerable revelation.)
  • But you don't look like you have an eating disorder! (Sounds like: "You're fat!")
  • If you want to lose weight, why don't you just diet and exercise? (This is like telling an alcoholic to just have a "few" drinks.)
  • It's what's on the inside that counts. (Sounds like: "You're ugly.")
  • You look great to me! (You do not know if this is his/her healthy weight, or what s/he may have done to get here.)
  • How long has it been since you've eaten? (This is unimportant, and sounds callous. Eating disorders are never, at the heart, about food.)
  • I had a friend once whose sister was bulimic, and she... (Invalidates him/her as an individual; sounds like you think you know it all. No two eating-disordered people are the same.)
  • Just eat what you want! (Sounds like: "It's not a big deal.") 

If you have any other questions that you would like answering, please do not hesitate to contact us.